Making Personal Connections

I read the latest post on The Gig, Nadira Hira's blog on Fortune. (I quoted Hira in my column on Generation Y in our spring 2008 issue of the magazine and have been following her ever since.) Hira blogs about and researches (and is part of) Generation Y. Her latest post is called "Making True Connections in a Facebook World." She writes about how Generation Y, and subsequent generations, might actually be held back by technology. Teenagers and young adults are all over Facebook, MySpace, Twitter and texting, oftentimes in effort to "friend" the most people they can. Your brother's boss' sister wants to make a connection? Sure! A high school acquaintance you haven't seen since 1999 reaches out? Sign her up! (For a hilarious look at this phenonmenon, check out Scott Brown's column in Wired: "Facebook Friendonomics.")

However, what is this doing to our actual relationships? If we spend all our time at our computers or tweeting 140-character phrases, do we really get to know people? Are your connections on Facebook really your friends? Would they really recommend you for a job or support you in a new busniess relationship? Probably not - no matter what generation you're in.

While I'm not saying that these technologies aren't useful in business settings (stay tuned for my next column on Twitter in our winter issue), maybe they shouldn't be the only method of communication? This is where I think association memberships come in and become invaluable. If you're a member of an industry assocation, you're out interacting with people, face-to-face, at monthly meetings and events. You're making personal connections with people and forming good business relationships. Perhaps you stay in touch in between meetings through LinkedIn or via e-mail even, but chatting while sitting next to each other at an event is when you build a professional reputation for yourself. It's this person your new contact will remember when they need a florist, a planner or a venue for their next event. They'll choose you over any random "friend" on MySpace.

What do you think? Face-to-face vs. Cyber relationships or a little bit of both? What works for you?

--Amanda Fretheim Gates
Managing Editor

Comments

[Alli Gerkman]

Amanda--I think that just like with traditional networking, you will make some deep connections and many weak (but not bad) connections. Social media is simply allowing us to make more (and more diverse) weak connections. Much has been written about weak connections being most important for landing new employment.

I do agree with you, though--you can't just be a "random 'friend' on MySpace" and expect magic to happen. "Random" is not enough. Whatever medium you're using, you need to stand out in all the right ways.

[Managing Editor Amanda Fretheim Gates]

Thanks for your comment Alli. I'm excited to read more from your blog.

[Geri Wolf]

There are pros and cons to Facebook, LinkedIn, Twitter and blogging. But I also believe the user ends up dictating a lot of the outcome.

For example, I do not accept any "Friends" or "Contacts" through any of the on-line networking vehicles, unless I have personally met the person or had enough email / phone communication to feel comfortable. As far as I am concerned, if I see them as someone's "friend" or "contact", I assume that they advocate that person's work, talent, etc. For the most part, anyone in my contact list is someone I could confidently introduce to any of my other contacts.

There is just something about looking the person in the eye and shaking their hand that you can't replace with any amount of on-line communication.

Quite frankly, I'd rather have fewer, stronger connections, then numerous weak ones.

[Managing Editor Amanda Fretheim Gates]

Thanks Geri. I agree with you. I think I look at business relationships in a similar vein as my personal friendships. I would rather have a smaller circle of people I trust, then a huge circle of superficial "friends."

"The user ends up dictating a lot of the outcome." Very true - well said.